Kraken

The Kraken, a legendary sea monster, is a behemoth of the ocean's depths. This titanic creature, akin to a colossal squid or octopus, strikes awe and terror into the heart of any adventurer. While krakens generally dwell in the deepest parts of the ocean, on rare occasions they can be found taking advantage of passing trade vessels for an easy snack. Any denizen of a coastal city can tell you about trade route disruptions due to kraken attacks. 

As apex predators of their domain, Krakens feed on a variety of oceanic life. Their diet primarily consists of large sea creatures such as whales, giant squids, and large schools of fish, though it will consume any easy prey it can get its tentacles around.

The idea of consuming Kraken meat is as daunting as the creature itself. Given its colossal size, a single Kraken could theoretically feed a village for months. However, this monster isn’t exactly hunted, as much as it is rarely encountered. Certain rich coastal cities will employ bands of adventurers in their defense, and in the rare occasion that one of these monsters is felled, the resulting meat is cause for celebration, and in many areas, begins a massive ceremony to butcher the kraken and distribute or preserve the meat before it goes bad.

Preparation

Butchering a Kraken is a monumental task that requires the combined effort of teams of experienced butchers, chefs, and often any adventurer still fit enough to lift a blade after the battle. This process is a deeply communal event where the entire city gathers to witness and participate in the preparation of the creature that was just threatening their livelihoods.

The first step in butchering a Kraken involves securing the beast ashore, a mission in and of itself that often requires the use of powerful magic or ingenious engineering. Once ashore, the creature’s massive tentacles are the first to be harvested. Each mighty tentacle must be separated from the main body and then set aside to be processed.

After all of the tentacles have been removed, the body of the Kraken is segmented into manageable parts. The body is often covered in a thicker hide than the tentacles, and may require specialized tools to pierce and cut through the thick skin. After the skinning is complete, the meat and internal organs are extracted and portioned for cooking.

Once all of the meat has been collected and portioned, it is then tenderized. Due to the dense and tough nature of Kraken tentacle meat, this is a rigorous process and can range from teams of individuals pounding the meat with mallets, to some magical treatments to soften the meat. Certain marinades are also used for breaking down the meat with acidic components like fruit juices. The meat of the body is less intensely tough, and once the thick hide is removed, the meat itself is rather supple.

It is important to note, that butchering teams do not wait until all of the preparation is done to start divvying meat out to the chefs. The process is that of a well-oiled, albeit chaotic, machine. As soon as one butchering team finishes their cleaving, that meat is sent to a skinning team, then to a tenderizing team, then a portioning team, and then to a cook. Freshness is paramount.

Flavor

The flavor profile of Kraken meat is as unique and complex as the creature itself. Having spent much of its life in the unfathomable depths of the ocean, the meat carries with it a true essence of the sea. Those who consume it describe this as intensely briny with deeply savory notes. It is rich and robust, and where some other meats are best used as a canvas for other flavors, Kraken meat can stand alone.

The texture of Kraken meat varies across different parts of the creature. As mentioned in the previous section, the tentacles are very tough. As they were constantly in motion during the Kraken’s lifetime, they developed a firm, chewy texture reminiscent of calamari, but considerably denser. Proper tenderizing and preparation methods can mitigate this toughness, transforming the tentacles into a more succulent delicacy with proper attention. 

The body meat is surprisingly tender compared to the tentacles, and is much denser and meatier, with a texture similar to that of a well marbled steak. This dichotomy of texture means there is one main rule for cooking Kraken: cook the tentacles low and slow and cook the body hot and fast. 

It is important to note that the meat degrades in quality very quickly. As is true of much seafood, use it, lose it, or preserve it. In addition to a myriad of recipes to use fresh Kraken meat, a good coastal chef also knows how to preserve any meat that isn’t eaten that day. This can range from smoking and drying, to pickling, to salt packing, each one yielding a very different final product, but each one uniquely delicious.

Recipes

Let’s walk you through a Kraken preparation festival and show you the general recipes you may see being prepared in the wonderfully chaotic culinary frenzy!

Roast Kraken

This is obviously the most straightforward one. At any Kraken cooking festival, you will see plenty of bonfires, cooking pits, and grills fired up ready to cook up some Kraken meat. But here’s some tips to set you apart from the random nobodies making overcooked charcoal with their batch of Kraken meat.

First, make sure if you are roasting Kraken over open flame, do so with the body meat, not tentacles. Maintain the fire temperature at a high flame. Remember what we mentioned? Cook the body hot and fast.

Cut the kraken meat accordingly to your cooking vessel. If you have a spit, larger chunks fair well, but be cautious with size, as if the chunks are too big the outside will burn far before the inside comes to temperature. I personally prefer either skewers of 2 inch cubes of Kraken, or Kraken steaks on a hot grill over the fire. Regardless of your cut and cooking vessel, make sure the Kraken is properly seasoned with salt and pepper, and any spices you desire to add, though those are completely optional for such a flavorful meat. 

Working in batches, cook the meat over flame until the entire exterior of the meat has a nice hard char. This shouldn’t take more than 1 minute per side, and err on the side of undercooked. Once overcooked, it turns to leather.

Slow Braised Kraken Tentacles

Just as Kraken body meat is cooked hot and fast, the tentacles should be cooked low and slow.

In a large pot or cauldron, heat a bit of oil or fat to sear the tentacles in until browned on all sides. Then remove them and set aside. In that same pot, add chopped onions, garlic, carrots and celery, cooking until the vegetables have softened.

Add wine to the pot to deglaze, ideally something light. Don’t use your indulgent Elven Red Wine here because this dish would do better with something more subdued, or even with mead. Scrape up any browned bits from the bottom of the pot, and put the tentacles back in, covering with half stock and half water. I prefer a nice fish bone stock here. You can also make a good stock with any of the thick hide removed from the Kraken body during the butchering process.

Cover and let braise for 3-4 hours or until the tentacles are tender. While you’re waiting, start on the next pot, there is a lot more left to cook.

To serve, slice the tentacles and cover in the sauce. Bonus points if you have time to reduce the sauce, but that might not always be feasible in a large cooking operation. Best served with mashed tubers and crusty bread.

Kraken Jerky

One of the simplest methods of preservation for Kraken meat is smoking and drying it into a type of jerky. This works well with the head meat in particular as it is generally more tender, but it can also be done to the tentacles after sufficient manual tenderizing.

First, in a large bowl combine the meat and enough salt to completely cover it. It is good to salt pack the meat for at least an hour or two to draw out any initial moisture. After the salt packing is done, wipe off all the excess salt and pat the meat dry. If you would like to add any spices or seasoning, this is the time to do so.

To cook, set the meat on the cool side of a fire, or in an oven over very low coals. This is commonly done over the same bonfires that are used for cooking the roast kraken during the community festival, just set off to the side to take in the residual heat over the entirety of the cooking day.

Once the meat is dehydrated down to a leather, but still somewhat supple and pliable, it is ready to be packed into airtight jars, or wrapped in protective sheathing and buried to keep well.

Homebrewery Link

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