Fantastic Beasts and How To Eat Them
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Darkmantle
Let’s take a look at a less common beast today, well less common to anyone that doesn’t travel to the Underdark often. The Darkmantle is a squid-like creature that hangs from cavern ceilings and waits to get the drop on its prey. From there it uses its clawed tentacles to latch on to their faces, at which point it would blind, suffocate, and crush them. If having an unexpected cave squid drop onto your face wasn’t disorienting enough, it could also emit magical darkness centered around itself making sure its prey had no idea what was going on. In Duergar I’ve heard these creatures referred to as “dead men’s hats”, and goodness does that sound like a terrible way to go out.
But let’s assume that you aren’t the prey today, and instead you are able to fell one of these beasts? Should you just throw out the carcass? Of course not, or else I wouldn’t even be talking about it. So let’s discuss exactly how to use it.
While these are commonly described as just “flying squids'', there are some stark differences from their water dwelling counterparts. The first is their skin. While squids are smooth and slimy to the touch, Darkmantles have a very rough, leathery texture. Darkmantles also have a stony dorsal shell which needs to be removed. The tentacles all have spiny “teeth'' on them which need to be taken out in the butchering process before the skin is removed as well. Finally, they also have a large, mucus-covered “foot” muscle behind their head that they use to hold on to cavern walls where they hide in wait.
Preparation:
So how do we prepare this creature? First, remove the dorsal shell. This can be done with a small hammer or mallet, making a fine crack in the shell then removing it from the body. The shell doesn’t have too much culinary utility, but can be simmered away like lobster shells to make a light, mineral rich stock. Next, remove the mucus-covered foot with a sharp blade and set it aside, we can use that. Finally, remove the skin from the Darkmantle. This can be done by making a long incision on one side from the top of the dorsal fine to the bottom of a tentacle. Then, slice between the skin and the flesh until a small pocket is formed, at which point you can almost turn the Darkmantle inside out, the skin coming off in a long single piece. At this point, the skinned Darkmantle can be prepped rather similarly to squid. Just remove the head from the body, remove the innards, take any cartilage out from the head, and remove the lamprey-like mouth from the tentacles, separating them. Finally, we have 3 major parts: head, tentacles, and foot. For those wondering what we do with the ink pouch, unlike its aquatic counterpart, it doesn’t have one. Its ink clouds are made completely from magical darkness, so sadly we won’t be getting any Darkmantle ink pasta today.
Flavor:
The flavor of Darkmantle is rather similar to that of squid, minus the ocean brine. It is a very delicate and mild meat that takes on the flavors of whatever it is seasoned with. The head and tentacles have a very similar flavor and tender texture, but the foot is much different. The foot is the most commonly used muscle of the Darkmantle, and is used for holding itself up on cavern walls, so the muscle fibers are very tough from constant use. The best comparison of this meat is to beef tongue, but with a much lighter flavor. It tastes like the rest of the Darkmantle, but with a stronger mineral taste that is dependent on which moss and algae the Darkmantle grub consumed as it was growing up. In theory it could be possible to cultivate this taste by raising the Darkmantle from the grub state and feeding it specific algae and minerals, but I have yet to hear of successful Darkmantle husbandry.
Recipes:
Darkmantle tossed in fungi
This is a common form of cooking Darkmantle in Svirfneblin (or Deep Gnome as they are sometimes called) communities. First, the Darkmantle is prepared as mentioned before, removing all the rocky exterior, innards and cartilage. The head of the Darkmantle is then cut into rings and the tentacles are sliced into smaller pieces. Collect your mushrooms you will be using. The chef who served me had just picked some Ripplebark and Fire Lichen from the wastes outside the camp. The Fire Lichen gave the dish a beautiful red hue, and a nice earthy spice, while the Ripplebark gave a funky, nutty base of flavor. Slice your mushrooms, and some garlic, and your mise en place is ready.
First, add some oil or butter to your pan, then add in your mushrooms. The Ripplebark will turn a dark brown as it cooks and absorbs the oil and deepens in flavor, and the Fire Lichen will essentially dissolve into a red-orange paste, coating the rest of the mushrooms. If you can’t get your hands on fresh Underdark mushrooms, feel free to substitute with any other kind, and incorporate other flavors and spices as well. Next, add the garlic and fry off until lightly browned. Finally, toss in the Darkmantle and allow it to gently cook through. This shouldn’t take any longer than a minute or two, and err on the side of undercooked. It goes from tender to unbearably chewy in just a minute or two of overcooking. Serve it up and enjoy.
Darkmantle “noodles”
This is quite an interesting one that I have seen in some Drow communities. This is less of a dish than a standard method of preparation, but I will give some serving options. After the meat is prepared as mentioned above, the raw meat is cut into long strips, from both the tentacles and the head. These are then used as “noodles” in a variety of dishes. One such example is chile and lime Darkmantle noodles. Simply add some sliced hot peppers, chopped herbs, and freshly squeezed lime juice into a bowl, then toss that together with the raw Darkmantle noodles and serve. The dish showcased how sweet and delicate raw Darkmantle is, while providing powerful flavors from the dressing it was tossed with.
An astute reader may question the availability of chiles and limes in the Underdark, and as a gracious guest at a Drow dinner table, I did not ask the question of exactly which traders they “acquired” them from. This seems to be a style of dish that Drow chefs enjoy testing out foreign flavor palettes with, as it is a good blank canvas for interesting ingredient combinations to shine through.
Braised Darkmantle Foot
This is a dish I had at the Yawning Portal that I just had to include. It is always a treat to dine with Jarandur Tallstand, the head chef there, and I always set aside a full night for the drinks we have afterwards.
For this dish, make sure the Darkmantle Foot is cleaned well, removing any of the gross mucus it used to stay stuck on the cavern walls. I also recommend slicing off all of the skin on the foot as it is rather tough. Sometimes it is kept on to roast the foot directly in the coals and then removed later, but we will not need to do that for this recipe.
Once the foot is prepped, get a thick bottom pot ripping hot, add some oil to heat up, then place the foot in to get a hard sear. We want this to get some good browning before we start the braising process. Once it has been seared on all sides, remove it from the pot and add in your aromatics, for a light fry. Jarandur used onions, leeks, carrots, and garlic. Next, add in your liquid. Jarandur used an equal parts mixture of beast stock, mushroom stock, and Shadowdark ale. Bring this to a boil and scrape off any of the browned bits from the searing process. Add in the foot again and drop it down to a low simmer. Leave this on for about four to six hours until the meat is fall-apart tender. Remove the meat and serve, optionally reducing the liquid to a sauce to spoon over.
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