Fantastic Beasts and How To Eat Them

Cockatrice

An unholy matrimony of a chicken, a bat, and a lizard, the cockatrice is a beast most would hope to never see. But nature, or whatever created this thing, is not so kind, and sometimes we cross paths. Cockatrice are notorious for two things: their bad attitude and their ability to turn flesh to stone with their bite. 

This transformation can be healed with antidote distilled from the venom, or from some healing magics, but a group caught unaware can easily be surprised, petrified, and overwhelmed. These beasts are also absolutely vicious towards any monster larger than them. While they only eat smaller game, they are incredibly territorial, one adventurer I know swearing he even saw a cockatrice pick a fight with a dragon. 

Thankfully however, if there is some merit to the creature’s pitiful existence, it's that it makes a variety of tasty dishes. Let’s discuss the culinary applications of the Cockatrice.

Butchering and Processing

Despite the Cockatrice’s relatively small size, handling and butchering it requires a cautious approach. The first and most important step is to safely remove the head and neck. As the source of its petrifying ability, the head should be stored separately in a secure container (preferably lead-lined) to prevent any accidental exposure. If processed correctly, some hunters may sell the venom sacs to apothecaries who value the toxin for potion making.

Once the head is removed, begin plucking the feathers. While not inherently magical like those of many other avian beasts, Cockatrice feathers are surprisingly tough and can be used for decorative purposes or even as rudimentary quills for writing. 

The moniker “stone chicken” is an accurate one, and this primarily applies to the thick hide on the beast. As such, it's a bit difficult to butcher it properly without first removing this hide. A sharp blade and some elbow grease is usually more than enough to do so, but don’t throw the hide out after, it can be tanned and used for equipment, or just sold to collectors.

Next, open the body cavity and remove the internal organs. The liver and heart are particularly prized as they retain a rich, ferrous flavor with a hint of bitterness, which some culinarians liken to the taste of enchanted herbs such as Mousepurse and Moondrop. These can be safely harvested as long as the head is properly removed, but should not be eaten otherwise.

Finally, carve the beast as you would a large fowl, removing the breast meat, the legs, and the wings, and reserving the carcass for stock. 

Flavor

While you might assume that the flavor of the beast also is like that of a stone chicken, its a bit more stone than chicken, and particularly the damp, moss ridden stones that are found deep within the gloomy caverns this beast resides in. The best way to describe this flavor is “dank”, in every sense of the word. 

The breast meat is the lightest in flavor compared to the other cuts, and if simply seared and served, you might be able to pass that flavor off as fishy. But the thigh meat is much more intense, especially when stewed or braised, and the reptilian tail almost tastes like another beast altogether.

Now I know this might be coming off as negative, but it is not a bad flavor, as much as a unique flavor, and is quite sought after by certain culinarians, especially among Dwarves who prize the intensely pungent stock you can make from its carcass. Give it a shot before you judge it too harshly because who knows if you’ll be a fan.

Culinary Applications

Now how do we prepare it? The breast meat is best suited for roasting or grilling, leaving the texture light and fluffy and very tender. Just like your more common fowl, you don’t want to overcook the breast meat or else it will tighten up and get stringy and tough. 

The thighs are commonly braised in a cauldron with various herbs such as thyme, elvespurse and moondrop. They go well with root vegetables and are commonly stewed. Those same intensely dank flavors can be balanced by a proficient chef, yielding a dish much more intense and enjoyable than anything you could get out of a run of the mill chicken.

The reptilian tail can be sliced into decently fatty chops depending on how well the cockatrice lived on smaller game. Those more adventurous eaters may also indulge in cockatrice feet, a similar texture to chicken feet but much more complex in flavor and with a lot more meat on the bones. 

And don’t forget about the wings. Although there is almost no meat whatsoever on them, they are full of collagen ready to melt down into gelatin. They yield a very intense stock that might not be the most flexible, but is intensely flavorful in the right applications.

Non-Culinary Uses

Beyond its culinary value, the Cockatrice offers several non-culinary uses that are highly sought after by apothecaries and craftsmen alike. The creature’s feathers for instance are prized for their durability and aesthetic appeal, making them a popular choice for quills and decorative plumage in enchanted garments. 

The petrification sacs, if safely extracted from the head, can be used as potent ingredients in alchemical brews, such as in potions to temporarily harden the skin or by artificer to fortify armor. 

Skilled artisans may even incorporate the scales from the Cockatrice’s legs into light, flexible armor pieces, enhancing them with minor magical resistance. The hide itself, tough and reptilian, is often tanned and used for small pouches or straps that adventurers prefer due to their resilience. 

Materials from the Cockatrice are synonymous with the term “durable”, so much so, that many charlatans peddle fake Cockatrice leather to unsuspecting marks. I wish I could tell you what tell-tale signs to look out for, but that’s not really my domain.

Example Dish - Whole Roast Cockatrice

One of the truly difficult culinary tasks is that of roasting a whole cockatrice. Different parts of the cockatrice body are made out of very different meat, ranging from the lighter meat of the breasts, to the dark meat of the thighs, to the grainy reptilian meat of the tail and lower legs. 

Properly roasting a cockatrice whole without overcooking any of the individual parts is a hefty challenge that some chefs have used different techniques to circumvent. One popular technique is to remove the backbone to lay the cockatrice flat on the cooking sheet to allow for more even distribution of heat. 

Other cooks simply separate the cockatrice down into parts and cook each one separately before arranging back onto the serving tray. This is a foolproof method, but it does compromise some of the aesthetic value and “wow factor” of a whole roast cockatrice at the dinner table. 

My personal preference is spit-roasting, this slow methodical turning is definitely the most labor intensive, but good fire management allows choice over how much to cook each area. 

This is far from easy, but produces an amazing dish. No matter the method, a well cooked roast cockatrice is a great centerpiece and talking point that will be discussed again and again.

Example Recipe - Spicy Cockatrice Feet

Begin by boiling the Cockatrice feet in a cauldron of salted water for about 20 minutes, then drain and peel off any remaining scales or tough skin, and clip off the long talons.

In a large skillet, heat your oil over medium heat, then add chopped onion and garlic, sauteing until fragrant. Toss in chopped hot chiles, along with cumin seeds and spicy paprika to bloom in the oil. 

Remove everything from the skillet, and mash it together in a pestle and mortar once softened, then add it back to the skillet, with the cockatrice feet, and enough cocatrice stock to cover it all.

Allow the feet to stew for about an hour, reducing the sauce down, and adding honey and butter at the end, tossing until fully combined, and seasoning to taste. 

Serve hot and enjoy.

Conclusion

If it weren’t for their absolutely horrid attitude and deadly defense mechanism, cockatrice would be a worthwhile creature to breed for their immense culinary value, but alas cooks will just have to make the most of the few chances they do get to cook with the beast.

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I hope you enjoyed. As always, here is the homebrewery link if you would like this for your own tables, and feel free to join the monster cooking discord!